Nathan's Insights

It’s that time of year when you start reflecting on what the hell happened to the last year.  Usually it’s about our relationships, the people we love or loved, the people we found and those that we lost.  The stupid arguments, the times we should have said we are sorry, the regrets in acting like an arse and not being there.

We also remember the good times.  The joy in the success of our friends and sharing in their happiness, births, weddings, academic achievements.  This year I’ve watched first hand as friends and colleagues dealt with death and cancer, some successfully, others are still fighting and some passed away.

I also find myself thinking about what I do and there’s no escaping that work is a major part of life.  Did I use the privileged position I have to help others?  When I think but the last 12 months I recall; looking after two interns last summer, working on an entry level recruitment program for young Australians, mentoring an individual from a disadvantaged background, supporting a recent immigrant undertake a work experience placement, and assisting Year 10 students develop application writing and interview skills.

This seem like positive activities and it got me to think about how my employer allows and even encourages these activities.  I work for the Australian Tax Office, an organisation according toJesusthat rates below murders and adultery (!!!!) so for a very long time not seen as a great profession.

However I find and experience an organisation full of people who do care for their community and who do work hard.  Staff who really pulled together to help during the various bushfire and flood disasters in recent years.  My organisation commits resources for community programs (the events I’m involved in) and staff volunteer time to help the elderly complete tax returns and training other volunteers.

I know it’s probably uncool to say but I think I actually work for a positive organisation and that it’s possible to do good and challenging tasks and influence our community.  Sure I had problems on the work side, I had an unpleasant interaction with one senior officer over some policy issues, most staff where disappointed with the recent pay agreement, and I had a negative experience over a criminal matter, but overall I think it is a positive place.  Lots of work challenges and an overall attitude that we should provide help to our community.  I think that’s worth more than a little more money each fortnight.  Plus there are allowing me to take off for 4 months next year 🙂

The road to recovery from painful experiences can be very long and difficult.  Last Friday I visited a colleague who has been on long term leave looking after her husband who died of cancer recently.  I really don’t know how I’d go losing someone so close to me, caring for them for many months and watching them slowly slip away.  The inner strength people have really amazes me sometimes.

I spent just over 3 hours at my colleague’s home, and during this time I learnt the difference between a house and a home.  The moment I step inside I felt warmth.  They bought this house over 30 years ago and had slowly turned it into a home.  There were so many small personal touches, strained windows they had made to reflect aspects of their life they loved, the small detached entertainment room / bar, the fire places.

Everywhere I looked I felt history and I felt the joy and happiness that had occurred in this place that became a home.  My colleague is now planning to build a memorial garden to be ready by the anniversary of her husband’s passing.  I can tell you the display is inspiring bringing
out aspects of places that they both had good times in, bringing out life and tranquillity.

Imagine loving someone so much and having that love still displayed all around you, even with that person gone they are still there.  We all struggle to find our meaning but I experienced someone who had no doubt of what was important and found someone special, a soulmate, to share it with for over 30 years and even now in death there is this strength and inner light because of that love.

People use the word ‘love’ a lot but I always feel it’s your actions that show your true self, thoughts and desires.  I got a brief view of what true love is, and it looked majestic and remarkable.

My experience in NSW Court last Friday (as a key witness / participant) made me think back to my time earlier in the year as a jury member in a Melbourne Criminal proceeding and the entire justice system.

For background I was called up for a criminal court proceeding which I had postponed from the April quarter due to my Alaska trip in June 2011 until the July quarter, so I had no excuses.  I actually wanted to be involved at some point in my life as I see jury service as a key part of our responsibilities as citizens of this country.  Having given extensive evidence in NSW court case in April however I found it ironic both were having so close together.

First thing is I was surprised that I even ended up empanelled.  My name was eventually selected at random to go up to a court room for potential selection.  They select 28 people and I noticed that there were only about 7 men, making my chances a little higher.  I was drawn out first and took the cat walk past the defendant who was informed that I worked for the Australian Government, that normally gets defendants to knock you out.  I wasn’t challenged so I was empanelled, I can tell you my work colleagues were very surprised.

From the jury panel I got to watch everyone else have to walk past the defendant.  The defendant has 6 challenges available to him and he used them all to knock out young women, this become more important later on.  Eventually the defendant got stuck with 5 men and 7 women running out of challenges.

The charge was armed with criminal intent which sounds simple but is actually very hard.  I’m not allowed to go into the evidence or identify exactly what happened due to secrecy so I keep this general so no one can be identified.

I can say that a lot of information was held back from the jury to not prejudice us (this was obvious after the case).  The defence really went to town on police giving evidence questioning their character, competence and motives.  The defendant decided to testify in his defence which is not mandatory.  The judge explained and decided the facts of law and after 5 days we retired to decide with access to the transcript and evidence (knife, chains, written plan, photos etc).

Deciding was extremely difficult for the 12 members, but not for obvious reasons.  All members thought the individual would commit a crime but we had to determine if he would on the particular day he was arrested.  Also several members had problems finding anyone guilty because of what happens next to the individual.  One jury member was close to breaking down because he didn’t feel he could judge anyone.  Eventually we reached a decision of guilty.

My experience made me think that their there is great integrity in the general public who get selected.  Everyone took this extremely seriously.   I believe our system favours the accused, getting 12 people to agree, is very difficult and obviously if 1 person believes not guilty then that’s the result.

This is how it must happen.  My experiences with prosecution and police have demonstrated to me that they almost always see the bad and would be find everyone guilty.  What we need is to get citizens involved and to keep questioning authority.  Some guilty people might get away with a crime, but ‘not guilty’ doesn’t mean ‘innocent’ just 12 people couldn’t be satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt.

I now appreciate the system a lot better, and I appreciate why it is setup the way it is and the difficulties the people involved in the system have.  However we must always question those in power to keep them honest.