Life isn’t always easy or even clear. It’s been close to 2 1/2 months since I got back from my big overseas trip. Anyone who has gone away for such a big adventure knows that there is always a little post trip depression. This has been no different for me. The last 12 months I’ve had experiences that I never thought I’d have. I’ve tried things that got me to experience different kinds of highs (spiritual, emotional & physical). At one point I actually feared for my life. I faced a fear and jumped 216 metres (bungy jump) and got closer to some people than I thought possible. The past month or some however has been a bit disappointing. From the high of becoming an uncle again, to the fear of being in hospital, to the let down of plans not coming together like I wanted.
My big goals for the future have fallen away. Some people have really disappointed me. In tennis we lost in a semi-final after only losing once during the year. At work I wasn’t given a release to work on a project wanted to be on full time, and more recently I’ve realised other people have pasted me by or are given opportunities I used to get. On the other hand I’m going to be on a recruitment panel deciding others futures. So who am I and what am I trying to achieve? Right now I have no idea. I have friends and family but I seem to be falling into a hole filled with depression. I’ve lost my drive and focus. I’m not even enjoying some time alone anymore. Hopefully this is just temporarily; I don’t want to feel like this in 12 months time. Maybe the problem is once you realise what the world can offer and what others have which you don’t it is hard to be happy again.